Community-Wide Player HMD

[adstringendummod]

HMD POST

This post is an opt-in, player-based HMD.

HMD - "How's My Driving"

Opened post for criticism about how a character is played in a roleplay community. (UrbanDictionary.com)

For the purposes of this post: Critique must, above all else, be useful to the player it is directed towards. Please provide helpful advice or suggestions, and avoid inflammatory/derogatory comments, spam, silliness, or excess praise. This is meant to aid players.

- This is not a love meme. There can be love, but only paired with concrit.
- Flames will not be tolerated and will be deleted as they are useless to players.
- IP tracking will be on to prevent abuse, especially of the above two issues.

If you'd like to participate: Comment to this post listing the characters you play and want critique on. We will unscreen each of those comments.

Then everyone is free to reply (anonymously or signed in) with critique to various players' posts, and (as the critique-giver), feel free to mark in the subject header if you want your critique to stay screened or be unscreened. The original player will be able to see comments regardless of if they are screened or not, though no one else will see screened comments, and screened comments cannot be replied to without unscreening first.

Anon enabled.  IP logging on.  Screened default.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

While Beyond is insane in canon, there’s also subtlety to him. Here, he’s declaring every few moments that he’s evil and that he’s going to kill. There is no art to him. Someone that obvious could not be mistaken for L. He would also be caught right away. You need to focus on giving him depth and subtlety.

[divinewolfblaze.livejournal.com]

Yuri Lowell divinewolfblaze

This is generally out of curiosity when I still wrote them, cause I'd like feedback on how they were played for future reference.

-Retired-
Asch the Bloody alizarin_asch
Ken Ichijouji atoneforsins
Severus Snape turnto_page394

[my-peche.livejournal.com]

Im usually scared what people think of my RPing after an experince awhile back but um here we go.

Konata Izumi [anime_logic_irl]
Excel [Excel_of_across]
MOMO[my_peche]
Chii [Persocom_ears]

Kyle Hyde

[wont-hyde.livejournal.com]

wont_hyde

[shinydeadaliens.livejournal.com]

PLZ

Zelos wilder loudmouthchosen
Hazel Grouse sanzo_fanboy
Kisuke urahara geta_boshi_san

[braided-genius.livejournal.com]

Edward Elric. [braided_genius]

[constantshower.livejournal.com]

Erhm.

constantshower

[heavenly-earth.livejournal.com]

Hyuuga Neji
Uchiha Obito

[knight-within.livejournal.com]

Suzaku Kururugi knight_within

Russell Tringham he_bangs

Renji Abarai empyrosis

Can unscreen if you like

[le-louch.livejournal.com]

I don't have anything to offer in terms of criticism for your guys are played, but I would love to see more Hughes family interactions. I mentioned as much to Jackie, so it's only fair that I say it to you too. XD

It's so rare to have all three of them in a game, and I don't think they've had too many joint posts or logs together? I could be missing things, though, so feel free to whack me if I'm wrong. I just find their family interactions to be adorable in general and would like to see more.

And Kakashi cracks me up. ^^

[alle-halle.livejournal.com]

Allelujah Haptism

Nelliel Tu Oderschvank/Nel Tu

[1soul3sides.livejournal.com]

:D Only muse so far~!

[insipid-poison.livejournal.com]

Estellise Sodis Heurassein, insipid_poison

[a-wenches-life.livejournal.com]

Now that I have a free moment.

Gong-gil a_wenches_life (King and the clown)

He has his own HMD on his journal here (http://a-wenches-life.livejournal.com/954.html), all comments screened--now...


Hawke Starfyr golden_hawke (OC)

Hawke has his own too here (http://golden-hawke.livejournal.com/1445.html) and is screened as well.

[hainyan.livejournal.com]

She's all I have. please be kind.

[originalprodigy.livejournal.com]

L Lawliet originalprodigy
Salad Fingers touching_rust

Please help me be perfect, or at least better.

unscreen would be appreciated

[unlucky-blood.livejournal.com]

Ah the joys of things being screened.

As a note for later, and because I want to reply to what was said and technically can't right now, as much as I would love to make Shirou Kamui a little less laid back it's a little impossible in this place right now.

He gets along with people or ignores them when disliked. As such, as per canon, his temper primarily stays muted unless there is an encounter with "Kamui". No "Kamui", no temper.

So, as much as I would like to, I don't see his temper providing any entertainment or cause for interaction any time soon.

[smiling-boy.livejournal.com]

Seta Soujiro

[eternal-puppet.livejournal.com]

Akasuna no Sasori
Hyuuga Hinata

Unscreen

[cornered-circle.livejournal.com]

Replying to both at once, yay efficiency.


1. Thank you, and that's not harsh at all. <3 To be honest, I'm kind of relieved to hear something /directly/ - because though I've heard of general complaints around it, no one's actually said anything to me, and it's a little frustrating to not have feedback if I'm doing something wrong.

As for the dynamic... I worry a lot about that too. I'm not sure if it helps to explain that Kurotsuchi is still completely indifferent to him, and doesn't consider his existence at all important? I think the reason he tolerates him as far as he does, is because Tamaki's been consistently polite and actually supportive of his work - which in Adstring, is a rarity. And if Kurotsuchi's actively, and sincerely being praised, it's harder for him to dismiss him entirely while they're speaking to each other - though outside of those times, Kurotsuchi pretty much forgets he exists.

He should still probably be more annoyed with him at his more irrational outbursts, which is something I need to work on.... Would that help balance it a little? He doesn't really have reason to ignore him entirely, as long as he's not bothered too often, and Tamaki remains respectful - but he could still be ruder in general? If that would help with plausibility?



2. Mm, I've noticed some of that myself, and I do agree (partially because it's easy to fall into a too-tolerant groove, and partially because I don't think I play Mayuri as rude/callous as I should, just in general). But I'm not sure what you mean by not taking a direct approach? I thought that /not/ seeking him out was the most applicable choice? And I'm also unsure as to how he's been hampered in his work, though I do think they've spoken too much recently. I'm pretty sure the player doesn't want Tamaki harmed/traumatized, so... I'm trying to figure if being dismissive and indifferent is enough. He still /is/ indifferent, though it must not be coming across. And as long as he doesn't get in the way, he wouldn't go out of his way to hurt him, since it wouldn't accomplish anything.

And it's still being discussed, but I'm... kind of at a loss.

...and hah, just saw that. Thank you. ♥ She's hard to be consistent with. ...And it is one of the best parts. :D

Yachiru Kusajishi

[pinkdeathgod.livejournal.com]

Lay it on me.

[exarmatio]

Son Goku
Negi Springfield

[pervy-sennin.livejournal.com]

Jiraiya

unscreen

[willdateforyen.livejournal.com]

Replying to these both <3

Let's do Kevin first.

I admit his posts are a lot of him being furious (this guy doesn't have a lot of friends more like frienmies), however if you look at others he interacts with on their posts you can see a caring side to Kevin. He was worried about Sasuke, he was of showing it is just...different. He's expressed interest to help those who are injured numerous times and has gone on a few rescue missions. I'm not going to point fingers, but of course plotting sometimes just DOESN'T work. I've expressed getting him involved in serious plots numerous times but unless both sides agree and act out...well, there ya' go. You may have not realized but since Rinali has disappeared his interest in women has sorta...plunged. She was a big part of CR for Kevin in this RP. The affections they felt for each other was mutual and Rinali came onto him first (usually not the way it works, lucky him, huh?). Please try to remember Kevin has a small canon background of knowledge known about him, ad-libs in-game of him making smartass remarks (even when his life is on the line), etc as well as "character items" found in-game that belong to him is how he is being played and being turned into a character that has more depth.

Ai-Ai.

She sees herself as "dirtied" even though she is a virgin. The things she has exchanged for money go from dates to uh--"bodily fluids" and many other things that could scar a young girl for life. She is materialistic, she wants to be cute...and she wants to be liked. Guys like cute and trendy girls--or so she thinks. There is a layer deeper there and few have seen it Adstringendum. Opening up to people she trusts is difficult and hides it with a barrier of flirtation and giggles. May I recommend checking earlier [offline] logs for instance with Al? She's completely broken down in front of him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND MILA.

Mila is innocent, but she's developed in her time during Adstringendum. A big part of her knowledge of knowing what sex is is thanks to Alle, Lockon, Mello (especially, dear god) and Juke. Lately,I am trying to find other ways to play her other parts (Ten playthroughs of Hotel Dusk. Damn I should know it by heart...). Even with mentality I'd see her as having puppy love crushes...and yes, she does. She has lots of them. I don't think she understands "love" as a whole. Yet again, I play from a small canon and a character who when she finally gets the chance to speak in game doesn't get a lot of screen-time to do so.

I'm sorry if this comes off sounding mean...But Mila and Kevin especially unless you play the games I think it's difficult to understand them. Wikipedia doesn't tell you everything and we all have our takes on characters.

Any serious plotting for Mila, Kevin or Ai-Ai would be gladly appericated. ...And without your particpation in interacting with them if your not sure, maybe you should attempt? It's roleplay. Let's have fun. <3

My two cents go.

I'll take what you two have said. Thank you very much.

Mitarashi Anko

[scarysnakelady]

'Sup. I know I've been out for a week, but I've been around a bit.